The year, however, hasn’t been a total waste. There had been a lot of reflections, realizations and resolutions. I somewhat feel a bit more braver than I did this time last year. I could see myself accomplishing more things starting 01/01/11. Sure, failure is still a possibility. But I have come to a point where I know that if I don’t try, I might as well hang myself and call it a life. Growing up, I knew I wanted to do a lot of things. Year 2010 was the year I rediscovered what those things were.

In preparation for the upcoming year, I had already lined up some “projects” – personal ones that ought to keep me busy for some time. Being the procrastinator that I am, I expect them to be done by the end of 2011. I always had a bad habit of not finishing things I’ve started – mostly due to lack of inspiration and motivation. I guess it’s time I put an end to that habit.

I have spent the latter part of 2010 saving up for these “projects.” To do that, I had to scratch some other plans. Goodbye, college. That second degree would have to wait. If everything goes according to plan, I would be spending 2011 writing… a lot. To be able to do that, my mind would have to be at peace though. I would have to take certain measures to ensure that I be “mentally fit” by 2011. I was planning on dwelling on this further – had even started jotting down my plans – but decided last minute not to. I don’t think it would be wise to do so at this point.

Before I go,  I wanted to say goodbye to this blog site. It’s been good run. I just feel like it’s time to move on. DigitalDaydream just doesn’t feel right anymore. Laugh if you must, but I do get attached to my WordPress usernames/blog URLs for some reason. Maybe I’d be back to post something again someday. Maybe this isn’t really the end. Who knows? You will be missed, buddy.

It’s been a downhill ride since 2009. 2010 had been one fucking train wreck. I need 2011 to be better. I seriously do.

But this ain’t no ordinary pool party – not by a long shot. This pool party was held inside Camp Aguinaldo. This place is the only public pool spot I know being guarded by military men with machine guns… seriously.

How was the experience? Well, all the showers are located outside of the bathrooms, for some weird reason, which meant people take showers with a risk of exposing themselves in public. The comfort rooms have doors but can’t be locked which means anyone who’s thinking of doing a number two does so with the risk of leaving himself exposed, yet again. The pool water, despite being cleaned the night before (or so I was told), was green.

I know the pool place was a public one but still – regular maintenance goes a long way. I just couldn’t see myself swimming in a pool like that…

But it’s a fucking pool party! So what if I was swimming in other people’s filth? A politician was said to have done worse and look at how rich he has become. And it was just so fucking hot. All that chlorine was just too tempting. Besides, I remember a time I wouldn’t have second thoughts about hitting that pool. Back when I was a kid, I wasn’t such a wuss (or asshole, depends on how you look at it, really). It was about time I relived the good old days.

Night swimming. Gotta love it.

*****

My friends and I had to go places during the wee hours of Saturday that saw us taking a lot of taxi rides. Now, here’s one thing I’ve learned about cab drivers: They like talking about the things one should not talk about on a first date – politics, religion and the girls they fucked. On that day however, politics was the shit.

All the drivers complained about the politicians running for office. But they were especially harsh over a certain politician running for one of the higher positions in the country. For this blog’s sake, let’s call him XYZ. They were cursing XYZ and telling us why XYZ shouldn’t win. And my friends and I kept laughing which only encouraged even more scrutiny from our drivers.

You know what’s really funny about all of this? The fact that these drivers had no idea that one of their passengers was actually a close relative of XYZ.

People should really learn to control the things they say to strangers. You never know.

*****

During our trip, I’ve learned one cool thing about taxi drivers. Apparently, they have a universal distress code, so to speak, that alerts other taxi drivers should they find themselves in trouble. If one of their passengers, for example, attempts to rob the helpless driver, he could send a signal over to other taxi drivers who might be, by happenstance, on the same road as the victim.

Because the internet is huge and the possibility of some crook finding this blog entry isn’t all that impossible, I won’t be telling just what the signal is. I’m just really impressed that these drivers was able to come up with a universal distress signal so simple, yet so clever. I mean, come on – it’s not like these cab drivers attended a seminar and was taught things like these.

I went to work in an attempt to make myself forget – even for a little while. Just when everyone’s out there having well-deserved vacations, I was at the office pounding away on my keyboard in hopes that the momentary distraction would be enough to hold me together. Unfortunately, it wasn’t – so I had to call in the cavalry. The next day I went out with the Angels. If a night out with them won’t do the trick, I’m sure nothing else will.

The night was all good and dandy. I met another person (a friend of one of the Angels) who works in the same building as I do. I know that doesn’t seem much but I’m slowly getting amazed at how the world keeps getting smaller and smaller – and at how my building is right smack in the middle of it.

I also got to watch one of those animated movies I’ve been dying to watch since seeing the trailer. I’m happy to report that it didn’t disappoint. Too bad I couldn’t say the same for the burgers we ate. I know I said it was good at first, but in hindsight, I think I’ve been cheated out of a better meal I could have had elsewhere.

Before I forget, I feel so bad and stupid about the things I said that night – so bad that I feel the need to apologize for it. I know I only had two bottles of beer but I realized on the cab ride home that I was, indeed, borderline drunk. Yes, my tolerance for alcohol just keeps getting worse. Anyway, I’ve said some things that night that could have been a bit off. If anyone was offended in any way, I’m really sorry. I do hope you know I was only kidding about everything.

Overall, the night served its purpose. It did leave me feeling somewhat better. For that I have the Angels to thank.

*****

The entire week wasn’t so bad. In fact, the first few days were fun! I got to see Kings of Convenience live! I wasn’t supposed to watch their concert anymore because buying tickets for the show felt like a fucking treasure hunt. Seriously, whoever organized this show fucked up big time on that aspect. But a friend of mine pulled through and offered me a free ticket. How I could I pass up on something like that? The concert is definitely one of the best ones I’ve attended (without exaggeration).

I even got a free ride home courtesy of ABS-CBN. It’s amazing to see what you could get away with when you’ve got the right connections – and my friend had exactly that.

Then there’s the rumor that Muse will be heading for Manila. There are only three bands I’d want to see perform live more than anything – Radiohead, Green Day and (you guessed it) Muse. Just imagine how pumped up I am about that one.

*****

Sad news for wrestling fans – Shawn Michaels will be retiring. I really believe that he will be back in action eventually. But as of now, he says he’s through with the business and I respect the guy enough to take his word for it. I know non-wrestling fans could never understand how it feels to see a guy like Shawn Michaels retire.

But if you were a smoker and you were told that you’d never get to smoke your favorite brand of cigarette again – the feeling resembles just that. You know there’ll be other cigarettes but smoking would never be the same.

The wrestling world will definitely miss the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels.

• Withdrawing my resignation
• Moving to the day shift
• Buying an iTouch
• Spending one Monday morning (that’s 12 AM to 7 AM) walking all over Ayala Ave
• Being the fifth wheel in a small get-together with high school friends
• Getting involved in a small film project
• Attending an Angels reunion

Those are the only things I could think of right now though I’m pretty sure there are more. What can I say? I’ve been a pretty busy boy as of late. Now, on to the more recent details.

*****

The whole weekend had been all about graduating. This week saw me celebrating the college graduation of three people: my friend, my brother and my sister’s.

First up was another legendary night at Cainta. Now, I have always been vocal about how drunk I get whenever I hit the streets of a particular village in Cainta. As soon as I leave that village the morning after – barely sober and smelling like crap – I say to myself I’ll never go back there again. And yet I always end up going back there anyway.

But this time it’s different. There’s actually an occasion… for once. Another difference? There were girls.

I won’t get into the details of what happened that night. Don’t get me wrong – I want to go to details. They’re not that personal anyway. But remembering what exactly happened that night would be hard to do so at this point. When I woke up the next morning, I found myself lying on the kitchen floor for Christ’s sake. The story of how I ended up there is already a mystery as it is, let alone what happened the night before.

I do remember some things like someone getting handcuffed (the owner of the how works for the PNP; handcuffs were merely toys at his place), overheard someone talk about killing somebody (the owner of the house have “connections”, that’s for sure), found out that “Nobela” doesn’t work in Cainta but sang a song that could be just as useful (too drunk to remember what song it was though) and punched someone (and I got punched as well) for fun.

People threw up left and right. But it’s all good.

*****

Just a day later, I was back in PICC attending my sister’s graduation. The last time I walked through those halls was four years ago – when I attended my own graduation. It was almost like I was passing on a proverbial torch. That place witnessed the start of so many dreams which included mine.

As much as I hate graduation ceremonies (because they really could be boring as hell), I do love the cliches. Sure enough, Raymond Lauchenco’s voice filled the auditorium as his seemingly only hit, “Farewell”, made it’s way into the ears of every attendee. People cried just as parents celebrated (I overheard one parent already making plans on how his daughter could repay her “debt”).

I just sat there and watched batch 2010 celebrate. I was envious. I wished I still had the same optimism they have. Barely four years into the real world I think I already had enough of it. Oh, youth – you’re wasted on the young.

I really could go on further but I’m really not in the mood right now. That seems to be the problem lately… I’m always not in the mood.

I sent today’s EOD without as much as double-checking – something I would later regret. Double-checking the EOD is crucial because it’s sent around the world for all our bosses and clients to see.

Minutes after sending, I received a reply from one of my bosses. He told me that I should be careful when it comes to sending those reports, especially with the spelling. I checked the Sent Items folder to see what the hell he was talking about. Sure enough, there was a mistake. I forgot all about the letter F.

I just sent our company’s first ever End of Shit report. Yikes.

*****

I got back from Baguio yesterday. I haven’t had that much fun in a long, long time. That vacation was everything I wanted it to be. Luck may not have been on my side during those two days I spent up in the mountains, but thinking back, I wouldn’t have had it any other way – well, except for a few parts.

I went there with my best friend. His girlfriend’s based in Baguio so he makes it a point to go up there every month or so. I just tagged along this time around since I was feeling a bit downer than usual. That place had been my refuge for years. As I’ve said before, I have made it my province (since I don’t really have one).

I think the city has the best of both worlds – the things that make both the city and provincial life awesome.

*****

I was taking a rest at the famous Cathedral when two girls – in their mid-teens, I presume – sat right by me and had a conversation. I, having no earphones on like I normally do, couldn’t help but overhear some parts.

Girl 1: Sabi nung lalaki gusto daw niya ako i-screw.
Girl 2: Talaga? Ano sabi mo?
Girl 1: Pumayag ako. Kailangan daw eh. Matagal na daw niya dapat pinasok yung turnilyo niya sakin. Ayoko lang talaga.
Girl 2: Masakit ba?
Girl 1: Ay grabe, masakit talaga. Nung una kinakalabit lang niya. Ok pa yun. Tapos yun, inis-screw na niya ako. Ayoko na maulit yun.
Girl 2: Di ko alam na masakit pala talaga yun. Sabi kasi ni [one of their friends] di naman daw masyado.
Girl 1: Ano ka, ang sakit noh! Kahit may anesthesia na, nararamdaman ko pa rin.

That’s when I realized that they weren’t talking about a guy nailing her in bed but about a surgery the girl had gone through. Needless to say, I was laughing so hard I had to get up and leave the place so as to not disturb those praying.

*****

Some of the highlights in bullet points:

• My friends and I ordered some fries along with our coffee and tea (weird, I know). The drinks came but someone in the kitchen must have forgotten all about the fries. We followed the order up an hour later. We got the fries in less than 10 minutes. The explanation for the delay was simple – “Sir, pasensya na po. Sa ibang Koreano po nabigay yung order niyo”.
• On the bus trip home, just when we were miles out of Baguio, the bus started slowing down. The other passengers grew impatient after a while and started to ask the driver what the fuck was going on. The driver’s reply – “Sir, may konting problema lang po sa brakes. Ayaw po kumabit”. Losing brakes while going down a mountain is never a small problem.
• While checking in, I told the front desk person that I’ll only be there for one night. After that, I asked if they had WiFi. The reply – “Ay sir, tamang-tama dating niyo. Meron na po kami WiFi… next week”. Good thing SM Baguio had free WiFi and that our hotel was right beside SM. SM’s WiFi was so good, I had access to the web from my room.
• I believe one of the places where we had dinner was actually the bar featured in that 90′s coming-of-age flick Istokwa. The one with Mark Anthony Fernandez and the other guy (Spencer Reyes if I’m not mistaken). The morning before we left Baguio, I watched some YouTube clips to check if I was right. I think I was.

I really should go to Baguio more often.

This pisses me off because it wasn’t really my fault. But more than pissed, this incident left me feeling rather guilty because regardless of whose fault it was, I just hate it when couples fight over something as stupid as this.

I’ll try to keep the story as short as I can – here are the details (just so you have an idea on what I’m babbling about):

• I made a promise to inform friend if get word regarding a concert we were both planning to attend. Previous reports said the tickets were sold out. That is not the case anymore. I sent a message through Facebook just to keep my end of the bargain.
• She sent a message back and we talked about the concert for a while.
• She asked when I planned on buying tickets, I said next week – after I get my paycheck.
• She told me she asked “someone” to buy some tickets. She asked if I wanted this “someone” to buy one on my behalf (we were afraid the tickets would sell out as fast as before hence the need to buy as soon as possible).
• I asked if it would really be ok to ask this “someone” to buy a ticket for me (it goes without saying that I’ll be paying for the said ticket ASAP).
• She said it wouldn’t be a problem and would let me know when the deal was done.

Here’s where the problem: Apparently, the “someone” she was referring to was actually her boyfriend. The guy went nuts after finding out that her girlfriend was going to the concert with me. Needless to say, he didn’t buy any tickets tonight. And now, as I’ve been told, they’re fighting over the whole thing.

To be fair, the girl apologized to me for dragging me into the mess. She also said that she wasn’t blaming me for the whole episode.

Me? Not that I didn’t care – she is my friend after all. But I was more heartbroken at not getting that ticket. But no ticket should be worth ruining a relationship over. But then again, we’re talking about a Kings of Convenience concert here. I don’t really know anymore.

The thing is, my friend wasn’t going out with me. I wasn’t going to the concert with anyone period. Not that I’m anti-social nor am I that much of a loner. I simply wanted to go by myself because I wanted to enjoy the show thoroughly.

Let’s put it this way: Have you ever gone to a party and brought someone along who knew no one else who attended? You end up playing babysitter all night in hopes that this friend of yours won’t feel like an outcast. Then before you know it, the party’s over and you’ll be left there with the same friend you came in with. That’s when you realize that you would have enjoyed the party more if you haven’t brought anyone along to start with.

Well, that’s sort of what I am trying to avoid. I know I sound like a douche for saying that but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. I just want to watch the thing comfortably and didn’t want to go checking up on people constantly or something like that. So back to the topic, I wasn’t planning on going with her nor did I imply that I would. However, I don’t think she was planning on going with me as well – it might have been her boyfriend’s fault for assuming too much.

Also, her boyfriend doesn’t have to worry about a thing. Why? Because compared to him, I’m nobody. I’m the antithesis to what he’s supposed to be. Her girl will never have feelings for me. I’m sure about that just as I’m sure that people are bound to die in a slasher flick. The last time I saw her was about a year ago. And we haven’t seen each other a year before that.

Let me break it down for you – in two years, we only saw each other once. And that was at my father’s funeral. So any thought that I’m trying to hook up with her would be ridiculous.

Well, I hope everything works out for her. I hope her boyfriend comes to his senses and lets her watch the show because I think it’ll be awesome – in which case I hope I don’t bump into him because he could probably take me out faster than you could say “Cayman Islands”.

*****

You still with me? Good. Now here’s another reason why I didn’t like what happened earlier. You know how some people follow a certain code on how to get by? The most famous one at the moment would be the Bro Code made famous by Neil Patrick’s character, Barney, in How I Met Your Mother. There is really such a code among guys. It’s just that the one in the show was exaggerated to a certain degree for comedic purposes.

Then there’s Straightedge (made popular – to me at least – by CM Punk, a WWE wrestler). Basically, Straightedge is all about living like a rockstar without the drugs, cigarettes, alcohol or anything else that makes the rock and roll lifestyle fun. I may be wrong about this one as I didn’t really research on the topic but I’m sure my definition isn’t that far off.

I have my own code – a stupid one – but a code nonetheless: the Action Star code (obviously, I couldn’t come up with a better name). Now this isn’t about beating people up like an action star though it would be cool if you can. It’s a code I thought of after watching way too many cheap Filipino action movies.

One of the rules goes like so: “Bawal mang-hassle ng chicks” (which roughly translates to “No girl should ever be hassled”. I made up some rules along the way and apply these rules whenever I see fit.

In fact, my pending resignation was influenced by an Action Star rule: “Ang action star, hindi nagpapabulag sa pera” which again, roughly translates to “An action star never gets blinded by money”. Actually, after watching a couple more action flicks, I added an exemption to the rule – an action star never accepts cash unless necessary (usually involves dying orphans or something as severe).

Anyway, I always do my best to not be an ass to women although there could be exemptions (action stars are only nice to the elderly, to the poor and to beautiful women – ugly people are usually made fun of).

Before I stray off any further, I’d like to end this by stating my point – I don’t like getting girls into trouble. Especially with their boyfriends. Why? Because I am an action star at heart.

*****

Can you believe I’ve got one more story in me tonight? Here it goes. I was supposed to attend my high school reunion last Saturday but bailed on the last minute. My friends are supposed to go with me but I guess the thought of having to pay for something that isn’t all that important must have gotten to them. I felt the same way as them but had deeper issues regarding the reunion.

High school wasn’t exactly the best time of my life. Except for having met the two people who would eventually be my best friends and the former love, nothing really happened for me back then. Everyone else who I shared the campus with were okay, but had nothing significant to offer me.

I was able to live my life after high school without any word from them. I don’t see the point in reconnecting with them now. I’m sure they feel the same way about me anyway. So why even consider going to the reunion? I do have my reasons:

• I wanted to see how everyone was doing eight years after graduating.
• My friends planned on going (until they backed out), so I guess it wouldn’t hurt to tag along.
• One of my best friends had a lot of ex-girlfriends from high school. It would be interesting to see how he’d react if more than one of them were there.
• To see a former crush of mine who was said to be attending.
• It was a good way to get some closure of sort and put an end to my high school bickering.

Also, I started bumping into former classmates a few days after being told of the reunion. I haven’t seen these people in years and they show up all of a sudden? I was taking that as a sign that good things are in store if I attended. But there was no way I was going without my two friends. They were the only ones I was close with back then. Going to that reunion alone would be too reminiscent of what I was before.

I wouldn’t want to live my high school life over again – not even for a night.

The acoustic gig, a surprise 2nd anniversary gift to my friend’s girlfriend, was a nice way to end a week. The ear thing however is really starting to annoy me. From the swelling, I could only assume that some insect must have zeroed in after I passed out fell asleep.

*****

Speaking of acoustic songs, the production behind the Kings of Convenience concert is once again selling tickets after they changed to venue to accommodate more guests. I had given up on scoring tickets for the show after I was told that they were already sold out a few weeks back.

Someone from my office told me the good news today and was later confirmed by an email from the production group. I do appreciate the unnecessary length this officemate had gone through to deliver me the only news that made waking up today seem worthwhile. Now I feel like I have to pay the favor back in some way – a task I usually stink at doing.

I’m really looking forward to this concert. The foreign bands I usually end up watching are bands who I just couldn’t give a fuck about (except for Fall Out Boy, that is). I missed out on a lot of bands I like. But not this time, no sir.

*****

I was updating my resume yesterday and was surprised to see that I have only been working for three years (four in May). It really felt a lot longer. I can’t imagine what I’d be like after another three years of the same crap. This is exactly why I miss school. School always had something different to offer. The real world sucks.

I guess another vacation is in order.