Blogging To A New You

Bumped into her yesterday. Well, technically she tapped me on the back as I was making my way home. I knew our paths would cross at some point. Ortigas just isn’t that big enough.

We had a talk and said things we were unable to talk about back at the wake. She told me of all the troubles she’s been going through. She’s hurt. As it turns out her boyfriend’s a real buzz kill. I hate fact that she has to go through so many problems. She’s in deep shit as it is. I doubt she welcomes the idea of adding more woes to her life. But what can she do? Her boyfriend’s a schmuck.

Hearing her stories about how much her family liked me and how her boyfriend took my presence as an actual threat just made me smile. Sure, it feels uncomfortable hearing stuff like that come out of someone you used to have deep feelings for. The things she said, however, were still music to my ears. She didn’t say it to me but I’m pretty sure I heard regret screaming from inside of her.

Regret she didn’t end up with me? I think it’s safe to say I may be right. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t matter now. Like I said, my heart’s in a different place now. I have other priorities. I couldn’t afford to take another chance in a relationship that just wouldn’t set off. I’m over her now. Not mad. Not bitter over anything. Don’t regret a thing. Just… over her. Hope she ends up happy because that guy is all she’s got now. She seems to have moved on. It’s only fair that I do the same.

I’m awesome. Sorta.

May Out, June In

Finally, a new month has made its way to my door. June. It holds a lot of promises. Just what those promises are, I have yet to know. But I have a good feeling about this month. Then again, I said I have a good feeling about this year last January and look at where I am now.

Still, one guy can only hope for the better. Surely after all the emotional, physical and financial pain I’ve been through something good must be on the way. Life can’t be that cruel now, can it?

I took my father’s death as a sign to finally change a few things about myself. He had always been instrumental, a key factor in all the decisions I’ve done. I think he would like it if I finally made a career change. Walk on another path. Three years of doing meaningless work is enough. I think it’s about time I stepped out into the real world and do something real for the first time. Some offers had come along and yet the right one has yet to knock though.

The more I procrastinate the stupider I feel and get. This environment I’m at isn’t helping anymore. I simply need to leave. There’s something better out there and I’ll leave no stone unturned to find out what.